It's the people close to us who hurt us the most.....

It’s amazing how people believe that sorry is glue that can mend anything and put it back to shape.  Forgetting one important aspect that is, one is dealing with humans not toys. Who do not easily heal but take time as there are emotions involved.

I would like to look at this aspect using Mvhango whereby we have characters like Thandaza and Pheko who share history and at the same time still care and love each other even though Thandaza is married to Ranthumeng. This goes on to show that emotions know no bounds and it’s not easy to bury and forget them as if they do not exist. This can be seen in Thandaza’s case as she easily trusts Pheko when he comes back looking for a job at Mkwevho  Holdings thinking that he is only there to better the company but little does she know that he is only there to destroy and take what she treasures the most. That is her company from her. I have always found life a bit intriguing; the people who hurt us the most are not strangers but people  who we would have loved and shared every detail about our lives. The very same people that we would expect to protect and guard our lives. Then when our treasured friends betray us and offer sorry as an excuse you tend to wonder who to trust. Or trusting someone is the biggest mistake one can make in their life. As sorry does not build any bridge or mend the heart.

In Thandaza’s case Pheko offered his apologises and said it was the only way he could pay off his debts. In other words he saw Thandaza as his escape goat that he could use to settle his debts. Showing how little we know of the people who we love and treasure in most cases. Forgetting about such experiences and moving on is one of the most painful things ever but for one’s sanity and happiness one needs to let go of the past and move on. This entire process depends on one being ready to forgive.     

Mawande Set to leave Generations

Cape Town – Generations star Nambitha Mpumlwana has reportedly been fired from the popular SABC1 soap due to being too demanding.

Mpumlwana's alleged insistence on "Hollywood treatment" and her becoming too much to handle has resulted in her contract not being renewed. Unnamed actors also confirmed to the Sunday Sun that she's difficult to work with.

This follows reports that surfaced early last year accusing Mpumlwana of being difficult to work with, showing up late for shoots and being a brag, according to TVSA.

The actress' Generations character, Mawande Memela, will reportedly disappear by being booked into a mental institution.

According to TVSA, she will still be seen on Generations until mid-August.

Mpumlwana, a prominent face on local screens, is best known for her role in Oscar-winning South African film Tsotsi as well as local TV shows The Lab and Shado's.

She has also guest starred in 7de Laan and Isidingo and had a role in the film Safe House, opposite Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds.

Learn to be grateful

People in most cases take most do not appreciate what their loved ones do instead they Condon and insult what has been given to them. This point is usually seen in media where reality is constructed as a source of escapism or as an institution where people learn how to conduct and carry themselves in society.

The drama that I am taking a look at is Skeem Saam which is broadcasted on Sabc 1. In the drama there is a character called Mantuli who has struggled to raise her children as a nurse after the husband Seakamele left her for about 12 years. She struggles to give them a normal up bringing on her own. When the husband shows up out of nowhere he has more of criticism than appreciation. He accuses Mantuli of being unfaithful and that their last born daughter is not his. He has nothing to show for his 12years away apart from excuses and lack of satisfaction on the way his children have been raised.

He is not happy with the fact that his first born daughter was impregnated when she was 16 and is living with the man who impregnated her and has not even paid the damages and bride prices for his daughter. A question that one would ask themselves is where was the father when the children were growing and if he claims to love his children a lot why would he neglect his children for 12 years: only to show up when the children are fully grown and mature.  All these signs point to a father who is selfish and who is only realising that he is growing older and does not have anyone to take care of him lest anything is to happen. To him family is not something that he treasures the most but sees it as a refugee camp where one goes when desperate.

On a conclusive note I can safely say bonds between a family can never be built within a day. If you want your family to love and respect you, one should be there for them through any challenges and if you want them to resent you vanish and show up after 12years and one will definitely experience a very cold home coming. So let’s start by appreciating the work done by others while we were away instead of criticizing their efforts first.  

                                                                                                                                         

Learn to be grateful

People in most cases take most do not appreciate what their loved ones do instead they Condon and insult what has been given to them. This point is usually seen in media where reality is constructed as a source of escapism or as an institution where people learn how to conduct and carry themselves in society.

The drama that I am taking a look at is Skeem Saam which is broadcasted on Sabc 1. In the drama there is a character called Mantuli who has struggled to raise her children as a nurse after the husband Seakamele left her for about 12 years. She struggles to give them a normal up bringing on her own. When the husband shows up out of nowhere he has more of criticism than appreciation. He accuses Mantuli of being unfaithful and that their last born daughter is not his. He has nothing to show for his 12years away apart from excuses and lack of satisfaction on the way his children have been raised.

He is not happy with the fact that his first born daughter was impregnated when she was 16 and is living with the man who impregnated her and has not even paid the damages and bride prices for his daughter. A question that one would ask themselves is where was the father when the children were growing and if he claims to love his children a lot why would he neglect his children for 12 years: only to show up when the children are fully grown and mature.  All these signs point to a father who is selfish and who is only realising that he is growing older and does not have anyone to take care of him lest anything is to happen. To him family is not something that he treasures the most but sees it as a refugee camp where one goes when desperate.

On a conclusive note I can safely say bonds between a family can never be built within a day. If you want your family to love and respect you, one should be there for them through any challenges and if you want them to resent you vanish and show up after 12years and one will definitely experience a very cold home coming. So let’s start by appreciating the work done by others while we were away instead of criticizing their efforts first.  

                                                                                                                                         

Let’s have gentleman in our society

Things have changed a lot. Nowadays we have men who tell girls,                                                              “I need space”.

What happened to giving a girl signs so that she makes the call to end the relationship? I tend to wonder all these things that were drilled to our fathers have been thrown down the drain. Leaving girls vulnerable and hurt as this definitely knocks their confidence and self-esteem.

No-matter how much we might believe in gender equality something’s never change, respect of another’s feelings is still essential and important in society and in relationships. People take such things as feelings for granted, no body anticipates the worst but one should tread carefully when it comes to matters of the heart.

For instance in Generations we meet a character called Senzo telling Noluntu that he will never love her the way she deserves and that he will always love Jason but he forgot about all that when he slept with her and led her own. Making her believe that they is hope of her and Senzo being a serious item.  Due to that Noluntu is still angry and bitter and does everything in her power to hurt and punish Senzo. As they say,                                                                                          “hell heath no fury like a woman scorned” 

Even if it means using her son as a pony in her devious games, It all goes to show how women accept being embarrassed and ditched by men.

On a conclusive note I can safely say when it comes to ending relationships men should be gentleman as women are usually crushed when they are stripped off their pride by men…

  

Stigma towards HIV patients still exists

People with AIDS and HIV are still being stigmatised in society and are having a hard time living a normal and ordinary life like all citizens. These things I have seen in media as actors are isolated and seen as unclean by society.

No-matter how learned people are in society they still has a hard time coming into terms with people’s status. Findings confirm that stigma is associated with psychological adjustment and adherence difficulties and is experienced more commonly among people who disclose their HIV status to a broad range of social contacts. Stigma should be addressed in stress management, health promotion, and medication adherence interventions for HIV-positive people.

Films like Zone 14 have shown how people react through the use of characters like Speedy who has HIV and has a hard time telling his friends, family and community at large because of fear on how they will react. When his friends in the community discover no one wants to be associated with him. His team members can’t even stand sitting on the same sofa with him let alone play soccer with him.

On a conclusive note, I urge people to stop stigmatizing HIV people but work to making them  feel comfortable and live a normal life like everyone else. They deserve happiness in their lives.  

History of Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj was born on December 8, 1984, and grew up in Queens, New York. She is of African, Trinidadian and Indo-Asian descent. She graduated from LaGuardia High School in Manhattan where she studied singing and acting.

Minaj was discovered on MySpace by Dirty Money CEO Fendi, who signed her to his Dirty Money label. After appearing on The Carter Edition of Young Money's The Come Up DVD series, Minaj was contacted by Lil Wayne. The two collaborated on a number of mixtape tracks. In April 2007, she released her first mixtape, Playtime Is Over, where she posed as a Barbie doll on the cover. Lil Wayne appeared on the track "Can't Stop, Won't Stop".

In 2008, Minaj released her mixtape, Sucka Free. She appeared in the July issue of XXL magazine, giving a brief overview of her life up to that point in time. Later that year, Minaj won Female Artist of the Year at the Underground Music Awards.

Nicki Minaj released Beam Me Up Scotty, another mixtape, in 2009. It received generally positive coverage on the of both BET and MTV.

In August 2009, Minaj signed to Young Money Entertainment with distributution from Universal Motown wherein she will release her debut studio album in 2010. Minaj also featured on Jeffree Star's 2009 album Beauty Killer on the track "Lollipop Luxury". 

Is corrective rape justified?

A lot of people believe that lesbians and gays do not deserve the same respect as homosexuals. Most people believe that women who chose to be lesbians so as to rectify this mistake or fault but the million dollar question is it justified for people to take the law into their own hands and rape innocent women.

Rape myths play a large role in the high incidence of rape. 'Corrective rape' is when a lesbian woman is raped in order to “make her heterosexual”. Men have stated that “fixing” these lesbian women is part of their duty as men within their community.

The media has addressed this issue numerous times in films, drama and soapies. For instance in Intersections there was a girl who was raped because she was a lesbian and the rapist threatened that if she were to tell the police. They would rape her girlfriend are lesbians safe in our society or are they treading on thin ice. 

I suppose one reason I don’t like it is that it’s an incredibly detached technical term for describing something which is a horrific experience to go through. The horrific experience it’s describing, in case you don’t know, is lesbians being raped in order to cure them of being lesbians. You might think that being raped by a bunch of men does not sound like a very effective cure for lesbianism.

Which is another reason I don’t like the term ‘corrective rape’: there’s no such thing as corrective rape. This is punitive rape. It’s rape as punishment for transgressing gender and sexual norms. It’s rape to remind you of what your place is, what your function in society is. The rapists might try to justify it by calling it corrective rape, but we all know that there’s no such thing as ‘corrective’ rape. This is because lesbianism cannot be corrected, since one can only correct that which is currently incorrect, and lesbianism is not incorrect. This is also because rape cannot correct anything.

On a conclusive note, I believe that lesbians should be respected and their happiness considered. If being a lesbian makes them happy who are we to deprive them of their respect.

Relationships now a game

Relationships have lost meaning in society there have been turned into nothing but a game where by both parties strive to be the best and victorious. The emotional connection between male and female has lost value in the eyes of society.

The media industry has played an important role in reinforcing this point through various movies that have been produced. These include movies like Think like a man and act like a woman, Hitch, Play The Game and My best friends girl. These romantic movies have turned courting a girl and relationships into mind games. Where one has to outwit the other for instance in Think like a man and act like a Woman. There is a book that has been written that acts as a guide to women on how to conduct themselves in relationships. The book dwells on the different type of man available and it includes mama’s boy, the player, the dreamer and the divorcee and how women should handle all these types stated above.

However, the men discover that the women that they are dating have read these books and are using them in their relationships so the men decide to use them against them. That is follow every instruction in that book so as to get their women’s trust and get them to sleep with them. Showing that instead of people discovering their partners in relationships they are using these opportunities to manipulate and play mind games with each.

Furthermore, movies like Play the game reinforce the same thing as we have a character called David who has mapped out a plan on how to approach women and stages that one has to go through so as to gain and win the woman over. However, Julie a female character in the film also maps out her own plan on how to win a man over. That is firstly, study the man that you like so as to see if he is your type, follow him and play his game so as to know if you are compatible, if the man really likes you get him hooked then pull out when he least expects it so that he appreciates you even more when he gets the lady back.

On conclusive note, one can safely say that relationships have been turned into a game and lack the seriousness that they were given back then and are mostly used for manipulation by both men and women.   

  

Life too complicated to understand

Life is a complicated web that even if you were to sit down one would never straighten and understand exactly what’s going on in one’s head. When making decisions people take in so many things in consideration; that is their emotions, how people will view ones decision and what the brain is saying.  Taking a look at our soapy Isidingo we find these things that have been stated above. Today I will pay particular attention to Nikiwe one of the actors. Nikiwe discovers that she is pregnant with Frank’s child after they have broken up and she has moved on and is dating another guy. This new discovery baffle’s her as she is not even certain who the father of the child might be. These are one of the unexpected surprises that life throws at one as most women never picture themselves having children out of wed lock. In Nikiwe”s case it’s even worse because she is a successful business woman, who is intelligent people would expect her to be knowledgeable about preventing pregnancies. That is why she even drags telling her father because it is just so complicated she does not know where to start and is not even sure if he will understand.

 When it comes to pregnancy people always look at ones status and knowledge before they condemn forgetting that everyone is human and makes mistakes.  Instead of condemning people should learn to look past such things and help one put the pieces together and move on with their lives.

Nikiwe decides to keep the child hoping that this child will bring her close to Frank and at the same time she will continue to be a successful business woman but what she does not consider is that a child can change one’s life drastically.

Sometimes sitting down and thinking about past mistakes does not change them what changes them is what you do about those mistakes.                  

Honesty is the starting point to finding love...

I have always wondered if true love ever exists or is it just a utopian fantasy that will never materialise. Singers like Keri Hilson have sung about love and given hope to women who have dated wrong man and have given up on love. For example her song with Chris Brown says,

“Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down just get back and it knocks you down”

This song encourages people that no matter how many times ones heart is broken he\she should never give up on it as the experience is priceless. We have had actors in Generations like Ruby in Generations finding love even though from a younger person that is Xolani. They have an age difference of more than twenty years yet they still connect and find love. This goes on to show that love has no age what counts is the heart.

To add on, this scene goes on to show that people should forget about peoples comments and look into their hearts when it comes to issues of love and decision making. Women in most cases tend to reject man not because they do not have a connection but are afraid of what people will say; if he is not successful, rich or meets the desired standard of one’s family or friends.

Today i plead to both man and women to be honest to themselves in matters concerning the heart because true happiness comes from that. Stop trying to please people at the expense of your happiness and love.  For example we have Senzo from Generations who tells Noluntu that even though he has fathered a child with her he does not love and he loves Jason. This honesty of Senzo causes Noluntu to give the child for adoption so as to punish him. The bottom line is Senzo was honest with Noluntu and saw that he could not sacrifice his happiness to please and marry her; thus making his life miserable.

Honesty is the correct road to take if one is to attain or find happiness.  

YOU ARE YOUR ON BOSS

I have discovered one has the power of telling or influencing people in the way to treat him or her. The power lies with him or her. Some people are treated as doormats by their friends and society because they are satisfied with such treatment from the world, others have been treated as punching bags because they have allowed it to happen and others have been treated as hobbies and not priorities because they have given society the key and platforms to do that. The entertainment sector has shown us all these people in society.

For instance we have films like Rules of engagement whereby we have Timmy who is summoned by Russell anytime to do his job as he slumps on a sofa or spends most of his time chasing women. Timmy is called by Russell even if it’s past his working time to bail him out if he is in trouble. He does not have the guts to stand up to Russell and tell him; “that he is not there to full fill his childish wishes”. Thus he is Russell’s door mate.

Moreover, in dramas like Generations we have characters like Phenyo who aim to please even if it means compromising their own values so as to gain approval. Phenyo goes to the extent of assisting Sello get out of prison even though he knows that Sello almost raped his wife Dineo and he belongs to jail. He does this so as to show Sello that he has as much power as Sibusiso does and can bail him out in any situation. Thus he becomes Sellos puppet being dragged everywhere by him.

Today I advocate that people take control of their lives and show people how they want to be treated instead of complaining that they are being treated unfairly. If you are a woman and want people to respect you set your principles and stick to them don’t compromise so as to please people but do it because you want to. If you are a man and want society to respect you set your own standards and maintain them. No one is born inferior but one can choses to be inferior.    

      

Women are super women

Single mothers have been portrayed by the media as women who work very hard and strive to meet their children’s needs. These women in most cases suspend their social lives to devote their time and attention to their children. Men in most of these films are portrayed as cowards who quit or resort to drinking when the going gets tough in raising their children. For instance in the film Client list we have a lady who is left by the husband when the going gets tough as he is failing to get a job. The man ups and takes his clothes and leaves leaving behind his two children and bills that are so high to the wife. Everybody is worried about Rex as he leaves his family in serious debt.

Sam as the wife is left to carry all this burden on her own and pay the mortgage so that her children are not left homeless as Rex has abandoned his family. This film shows how loyal women are when it comes to their families. They will tackle mountains and work themselves to the bone for their families. Sam opts for sleeping with men in the massage palla so as to be able to pay her bills and maintain their children’s lifestyle that they are accustomed to.

Women are taught at a tender age to be responsible that is, be concerned about the well-being of every member that even if the going gets tough they should hold on. Whilst men are sometimes made to go scot free for example in Client List everyone sympathises with Rex whilst he ran away from his responsibility. Instead people should condemn such people for leaving the entire burden to their wives as they run away from it.

On a conclusive note, one can safely say that women are super women who deserve nothing but praise and glory from society. 

   

Society a bit harsh towards women

                                                                                                                                                                                    

When it comes to women society has no mercy, the values and norms rule as they are the yardstick to measure how they are to be treated. When women have affairs a lot of insulting words are used to describe them like whore, loose and immoral. Whilst when men commit the same crime words of praise are used to justify them like a gigolo or player.  This shows how society views and understands gender roles. When women have affairs and are discovered the man are encouraged to dump the women and not pay attention to her excuses.  Situations reversed women are encouraged by society to look past it and not forget that man are children and need minding. The real question that one tends to ask is a 21-30 year old man a child or is it just an excuse to justify them being unfaithful or irresponsible by society??

According to Taylor Perry in the movie Why did I get married too , “when man have affairs it’s just sex and nothing else but when women have affairs it’s more than an affair as they get emotionally attached".

Thus one can safely say society in most cases a lot of excuses have been given to justify their action to an extent that it seems normal for man to have affairs and abnormal for women to do the same thing.

If something is wrong it should be condemned weather one is a male or female no excuses should be made to justify him or her. I believe that at a tender age children should be taught that they are equal.

For example in comedies like My wife and kids they show the importance of teaching children as equals as Michael and Jane make sure that if anyone does anything they will be punished without favour.

A bond between a parent and a child requires a lot of effort

 

Parents do everything in their power to give their children the best even though sometimes it might cost them an emotional bond with their children. A lot of parents in the year 2008 went overseas as Zimbabwe was proving to be getting worse day by day due to inflation. Most people were living from hand to mouth.

So some parents went overseas to make the lives of their children better leaving behind their children which includes; toddlers and teenagers in the care of their grandparents and relatives.  The media industry has shown the impact of such actions and decisions in dramas like Generations. In Generations there is a character called M.J who grew up with the father away most of the time thus was practically raised by the mother.

He has no strong bond with the father Caleb thus they clash most of the times when he is around from his journalist trips. Caleb craves for that father to son bond but distance makes it even hard for him and M.J to see eye to eye in most cases as they do not understand what the other wants and the best way to go about it.

In most cases when parents are absent in a child’s  life they try compensating with material stuff so as to feel the emotional void left behind  but truth be told material can never compensate for a parents absence. The reason being children need love and undivided attention from their parents  for them to be able to care and love someone else. In Generations M.J does everything in his power to please his farther so that he can be proud of him and stay longer. He carries on the hatred with the Dlomos without even knowing the root cause and does everything in his power to get attention which includes putting tattoo’s in his body.  

What parents sometimes forget is that being a parent is a full time job not a part time job that you can abandon anytime because one is dealing with emotions. If one cannot handle the pressure of being a parent then he/she should not consider having children as the children grow up feeling neglected, bitter and angry at the world.

Everyone deserves a happy childhood in their life and parents should consider this when making decisions because money can never offer an emotional bond or attention that people need. Scenarios where by parents and their children stay together and feel like strangers are the worst cases as the children do not have a strong connection with their parents and only see them as cash cows. Who are only there to finance their life styles?  

Maskiri set to hit the Nust Grounds on 9th of March

All roads lead to the NUST as the famous Maskiri will be performing live no showers. They is no entrance fee. The students will be there in numbers as the artist does his thing and sends everyone to the follow.

The show was organised by the Students Represantative Council (SRC) for the benefit of the students who were complaining that they is not much entertainment at NUST. The SRC seems to be doing a good job as last week they was a modelling competition for Miss Nust. Where we had an engineering student Ratanang Noko taking the price as Miss Nust and her two princess following behind. The students had an after party where most of them left at around 4am in the morning.

Showing how entertaining Miss Nust was and the Maskiri show is going to be better than Miss Nust so students are encouraged to come in their numbers to enjoy Maskiri’s performing live.

  

Technology changing society

The media is one of the one of the most important social institutions where the public learn how to interact with others, conduct themselves in public and lastly handle problems. Most people spend most of their time in social networks and children slowly but surely are getting accustomed to this way of life. Whereby social networks and technology are now part of our life styles and one cannot do without them. They have become a need.

When I was growing up I always loved playing outside with my age mates. Nowadays send a seven year old to go and play outside they will ask you what they are supposed to do because to them playing outside is boring and playing video games is much more interesting than interacting with their age mates. This further shows the impact of technology on our lives.

Women on the other hand have also been influenced by technology and social networks in the way they conduct themselves. Most women nowadays prefer dating online as compared to the olden tradition whereby they would meet up with men face to face and get to know each other that way. Dating online has proved very helpful for many because they is less stress and pressure from such a relationship. Movies like Double wedding have helped reinforce this point and convince women to take up that route.

Men have also suffered also in the hands of technology as we have cowards who do not have the guts to ask girls out face to face but have resorted to using social networks like WhatsApp, Facebook, Mixt and Binu. Even though technology has assisted in enabling people to communicate and express themselves it has also led to man being cowards and hiding behind technologies when it comes to expressing their emotions.

Technology changing society

The media is one of the one of the most important social institutions where the public learn how to interact with others, conduct themselves in public and lastly handle problems. Most people spend most of their time in social networks and children slowly but surely are getting accustomed to this way of life. Whereby social networks and technology are now part of our life styles and one cannot do without them. They have become a need.

When I was growing up I always loved playing outside with my age mates. Nowadays send a seven year old to go and play outside they will ask you what they are supposed to do because to them playing outside is boring and playing video games is much more interesting than interacting with their age mates. This further shows the impact of technology on our lives.

Women on the other hand have also been influenced by technology and social networks in the way they conduct themselves. Most women nowadays prefer dating online as compared to the olden tradition whereby they would meet up with men face to face and get to know each other that way. Dating online has proved very helpful for many because they is less stress and pressure from such a relationship. Movies like Double wedding have helped reinforce this point and convince women to take up that route.

Men have also suffered also in the hands of technology as we have cowards who do not have the guts to ask girls out face to face but have resorted to using social networks like WhatsApp, Facebook, Mxit and Binu. Even though technology has assisted in enabling people to communicate and express themselves it has also led to man being cowards and hiding behind technologies when it comes to expressing their emotions.